Living in a Church Incarnate

My bus rolled through the colorful, packed streets of Progreso, just in time for the 6:30 P.M. Mass. It was Ash Wednesday. I had spent the two previous weeks working with members of the Church in the mountain villages. My boots were still caked in mud and my T-shirt sweat stained.

Mass, unlike most weeknights in the Cathedral, was packed. I sat down in a sea of dark hair, my skinny little head poking up a good six inches above the rest. It was good to be back, and to have so many people around me.

Father Ray, my good friend and mentor, was saying the Mass that evening. I arrived just in time for the Liturgy that I couldn't even tell him that I had arrived from my mission. As he continued on with the mass, my mind began to wonder. What's the point of all of this, God? Why am I a Jesuit? How will I get through this intense life? Why am I here in Honduras and not back serving the Church at home? Questions floated in and out of my head between the incense, bells, and chants. By the Eucharist I was trapped by all the problems of the world, real and artificial.

God, what do you want of me!?

Communion rolled around, and I filled down the isle at my pew's turn. Finally, I made it up to the altar with Fr. Ray standing there in front of me, a smile on his face and the Body of Christ in his hand.

"Welcome home!"

He placed the precious Body in my hands and I had no idea how to respond. "Thank you?" "Amen?" I was surprised by his greeting, but even more surprised what lay in my hands: my home, my nourishment, Christ. "Welcome home," theological issues aside, seemed to make a lot of sense as I placed the bread in my mouth. Though Christ was entering me, more deeply, I was entering Him. I was home.

And then I turned around. Pew after pew after pew was packed with hundreds of Hondurans. Some I knew and many I didn't. Some old and plenty young. Some with faces of prayer, boredom, distraction, or confusion: men and women from all walks of life, together, worshipping the Lord as one community. And again, I was home. I didn't speak their language well, nor did I understand their culture, but we shared the same Body and drank the same Blood. I was home in the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church.

Just as we are Christ's we are each others'. Christ's love is incredibly intimate, yet it is also incredibly universal. It must be shared, and done so with spirit and vigor. Today's Gospel from Mark says:

"Jesus summoned the Twelve and began to send them out two by two and gave them authority over unclean spirits. He instructed them to take nothing for the journey but a walking stick—no food, no sack, no money in their belts. They were, however, to wear sandals but not a second tunic. ... So they went off and preached repentance. The Twelve drove out many demons,and they anointed with oil many who were sick and cured them" (Mark 6:7-13).

Over the past nine months I can confidently say that Peter and I have grown closer to the Lord and His Church, in many ways through this blog. I hope that throughout these months, you have had a similar experience. Our domain name: "http://www.therockandthesword.blogspot.com/" has become a home to us, an Ecclesial niche of faith, hope, and love in a vast electronic world. But what are homes more than bases of love and support from which to jump off into the world? As Jesus commanded his apostles to go out with "authority over unclean spirits," so too, Jesus is asking us to go and evangelize to the world by being models of the Good News to all we meet. We do that rooted in our home, the Church, which itself is rooted in the love and presence of Jesus Christ. This virtual home of ours has been nothing but a humble little tool in God's hand to bring about his love and glory in this world. So strap on your Birks, Chucks, Nikes, or Timberlands and start walking and working throughout His vineyard, in whatever calling the Lord has set out for you!

This particualr blog post is not a "Welcome home," though there are many in our archives. This particular post is just another simple little "Feed my lambs" post. Our blog has been full of them as well. It has been our hope, through the inspiration of St. Peter, to call ourselves and our readers to God's merciful and free love while at the same time, through the inspiration of St. Paul, to call ourselves and our readers to go out and preach the Good News to all the world. In short, we hope that all of us continue to find and live out our vocations. It has been a great ride, but the really exciting thing is that this has been a little pit stop, a pointer, along the great path of Salvation history. A little spec of dust in God's big plan for all of us, and what a graced "spec of dust" this blog has been!

Peter and I would like to extend our deepest gratitude for your readership, interest, and support. I ask, through Sts. Peter and Paul's intercession, that the Father may bless you and inspire you on your way to his Son's eternal love.

Thank you and God Bless!
Paul

P.S. A bit of business: for those interested, though we will no longer be posting, this site will remain up and available if you wish to go back to any posts.

P.P.S. Just to keep things on the fun side....

A rare photo taken in the middle of America of Peter and Paul together on a road trip, discovered after years of being hidden in the bowels of a Facebook photo album.

Helpful Links

Today is the feast of St. Benedict, patriarch to Western monasticism and grandfather to the Benedictine family of religious orders around the world. He was born in 480AD in Nursia, Italy, and established twelve monasteries before his death. He wrote what is today known as "the rule" for men and women living the monastic life. His rule became incredibly popular in the early middle ages and is still used by monks and nuns throughout the world today. I wish to extend a happy feast day to our Holy Father, Benedict XVI, the Church in Europe, and to all my fellow brothers and sisters in religious life.

And now to business...

Before we go off the air, Peter and I thought it would be a good idea to give you some spiritual resources floating out there on the web. In addition to the links we have in our side bar, located below are a few more Catholic sites that may aid you in daily religious reflection. There are hundreds, if not thousands more Catholic sites out there with lots of very good stuff. I encourage you to take some time and look around for something that is inspirational, educational, and thought-provoking.

Enjoy and God Bless!
paul

AmericanCatholic's Saint of the Day
Simply put, this site gives you a brief bio of the Catholic saint of the day.

The Apostleship of Prayer
This site focuses on the prayer intentions of the Holy Father for each month as well as prayer activity throughout the world.

The Irish Jesuit's daily reflections
This site has very insightful daily reflections about the readings from the mass.

The USCCB's daily readings and reflections
The Bishop's Conference has the Mass Readings for every day of the year (type, audio, and video) on this site along with different types of reflections.

Zenit's Church news service from Rome
This site is good for any general ecclesial news coming out of Rome.

2009 Catholic Blog Award Winners
I put this site in here because it has links to a bunch of generally appreciated Catholic blogs and podcasts. I can't speak to many of the winners, but I recommend you test them out.

Creighton University's daily reflections
Clergy, religious, and lay people from the Creighton community put together daily reflections on the readings at this site.

New Advent's Catholic Encyclopedia
Anything you ever wondered about the Church organized in alphabetical fashion. Also, they have links on their front page about recent Catholic happenings around the world.

My Final Bow

I've been pacing around my room for a while trying to think of some epic way of bowing out from this great blessing of a blog, but I've hit a major wall. It hurt my head!

The more I think and pray about the chance to spread the Good News, I realize how it has been a tremendously grace-filled experience. There is no better way, then, to "bow out" than to leave you with the passage that has moved me so often during these posts. It has been the passage which has led me to Jesus more and more.

To set the scene, Peter has just told Jesus of his love for Him three times, mirroring the three times he denied Jesus the night before he died. It is during this scene when Jesus turns to the one to whom he has given much and challenges Peter to leave all his "nets" once again:

Amen, amen, I say to you, when you were younger, you used to dress yourself and go where you wanted; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." 

He said this signifying by what kind of death he would glorify God. And when he had said this, he said to him, "Follow me." 

Peter turned and saw the disciple following whom Jesus loved, the one who had also reclined upon his chest during the supper and had said, "Master, who is the one who will betray you?" When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, "Lord, what about him?"

Jesus said to him, "What if I want him to remain until I come? What concern is it of yours? You follow me." 

--He will never lead you astray. Trust in His love!

St. Peter, pray for us!

Free Lovin'

"Jesus said to his Apostles: "As you go, make this proclamation: 'The Kingdom of heaven is at hand.' Cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, drive out demons. Without cost you have received; without cost you are to give. Do not take gold or silver or copper for your belts; no sack for the journey, or a second tunic, or sandals, or walking stick. The laborer deserves his keep." (Mt 10:7-8)

Profit margins, feasibility studies, and corporate investments. If you look at the Times, the Wall Street Journal, or the economist, it can seem that our world is nothing more than a market for economic profits and losses. Sometimes that attitude even creeps up into our own lives. How many times have we avoided facing a problem because it would take too long to deal with? How many people have we ignored or disregarded because they are different in any way? How often have we pushed God and His morals to the side because they were inconvenient or "not my thing?"

In today's Gospel we hear Jesus mission His apostles to go and preach throughout the land. They are to go poor, peacefully, and with great trust. Their goal is not to "get ahead" or even to feel good about themselves. Their goal is simply to, "proclaim: the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand." The apple of their eye is not gain, prestige, or comfort. Their focus is walking in the Spirit of the Lord and sharing it with all they meet. If they meet success, great. It is for the Lord. If they meet failure, fine. Jesus said it would be part of the deal.

Christian life is no easy task. We too are called to go out and proclaim the Kingdom of God is at hand. Successes throughout our history are quite evident, but so too are our failures and rejections. Yet we still continue onward, not in fear of "getting it wrong" or even in the hopes of "making it big," but because we are filled with God's free and grace-filled love. We are freely being the people God wants us to be and loving (most) every minute of it.

Last night a few novices and I were sharing the values of both consolations and desolations in this vocation. Contrary to conventional wisdom, desolation is as instructing and grace-filled as consolation, it's just harder to see and not always evident at first sight. The struggles I have had as a novice with prayer, community life, and the apostolate, with further reflection and generosity with the Lord, turn out to be some of the most gifted experiences I could ask for.

Those graces, all graces, are freely given from the Lord. Look, and you shall receive. What a gift--one so great that it can only spill out of us and be shared. As Christ commands, "Without cost you have received; without cost you are to give"

Peter

While in chapel last week, I was praying about the future of this blog when an answer was laid right before me, clear and unmistakable: It has served its purpose.

A part of me writes these words with difficulty; another with profound peace. It has been a great blessing to write reflections about life in Christ, praying with Sts. Peter and Paul along the way. It has been quite humbling, too, to look at our little counter and realize that people are actually reading our posts, simple as they may be. But as I spoke with Paul and realized that he, too, had felt similar stirrings while praying about our efforts here, I knew that what I heard in prayer was not to be taken as a passing thought.

This is not to say that the past ten months of writing almost daily have been in vain; quite the opposite, in fact. There has been a great blessing which has accompanied this project, that of learning how to express the "sacramental moments" in little stories or encouragements. For those of you who know Paul and I personally, we thank you for encouraging us, for telling us how much one post or another meant to you. I can assure you, too, that we were indeed blessed as well.

This is to say nothing of the great blessing of being in contact with my close friends. A deep thanks goes out to Andrew for helping us out while Paul was in Honduras, and for keeping me in line all the while. I will always be grateful to him for being a true "Andrew" and introducing me to Christ in a whole new way. Like some Happy Days spin-off, here is Andrew's new blog as he heads to the North American College in Rome for theological studies.

And then there is my dear Jesuit friend. Who would have thought that a friendship which began as altar boys lighting matches in the sacristy would become one of deep brotherhood, a struggle and a gift that I am just now beginning to truly see the depth of. While I would love to return to the days of listening to Pearl Jam in his garage, I see how much Paul points me to Jesus, and am so blessed to have him with me on the Way.

Most of all, I must give praise to Jesus Christ for all he has done for me through this blog. Through talking and praying with Peter, I realize how much I am like him. Clumsy, failing, short-tempered and not the smartest, I'm hardly the perfect pick for priesthood. And yet He calls me out on to the water, to become a rock of faith, to spread the Good News, and to march back into Rome to be captured and crucified. It took me five years of seminary to realize it, but here it is: I don't have to do it alone. Christ is with me, loves me, and will show me the way. There are many times still when I deny Him (far more than three times), and yet John 21:12 and following occurs again and again and again.

I can't do it without Him. None of us can.

Please know of my prayers for all of you. Please pray for me as I continue down the path towards ordination, always remembering Peter's words of tremendous faith: "You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God."

It is good to be here. 

Peace.

The Last Act

Dear faithful readers...

For a few weeks now Peter and I have been discerning the future of this blog. It was, in a sense, a "double-blind" discernment. Neither one of us actually knew the other had been discerning our future place in the world wide web, that is, until last night when we caught up with one another on the phone.

Peter and I have decided that this will be the final week of posting on "The Rock and the Sword." Our final post will be this coming Sunday. This decision may come as a surprise to many of you, but it is the fruit of prayer, discernment, and communal discussion. I trust that this decision is of the Holy Spirit, and in following His call, we all will grow closer to Christ.

While we have many reasons why we are being moved to "close shop," let me share just one of them with you. Simply put, we are men in formation for the priesthood and religious life, our primary focus should be on forming ourselves to the needs of Christ and the Church. In many ways these past nine months this blog has helped us do that. But silence helps us do that a lot too. So after so many posts we feel it is best at this time to return to silence--to grow deeper in Christ's call for us, our vocations.

That being said we plan on using these last days to lead our companions onward, each day posting a blog that might be helpful in furthering their discernment, companionship with Christ, and engagement with the Church.

Thanks so much for your support! This whole blog thing has been more grace-filled and providential than any of us will ever really know. What a blessing! Thank you.

God Bless You!

Paul

Wisdom Behind the Pallium

Today's blog starts off with, oddly enough, Church fashion, specifically, the pallium. I recently have been reading excerpts from Pope Benedict's writings, one in particular on the pallium. Though it may be something odd to talk about, I feel the Pope has a great approach to the traditions of the Church and how they can spiritually inspire us.

I guess have to start off this blog by briefly sharing with our readers what a "pallium" is if they do not already know. The pallium is a white strip of wool that is worn over any archbishop's shoulders when he celebrates the Mass (see photo above). It first dates back to the bishops of Rome in the fourth century. Many people, if they even notice, have no idea what a pallium is or why it is worn, but like most things in the Church, it is filled with biblical, traditional, and spiritual meaning.

By now I am wondering, with so many very important things going on in the world, why am I focusing on a piece of wool? Because it does a great job of explaining the Catholic Church and it's role in the world. Read on and see for yourself. Below is an excerpt from Pope Benedict's first Mass as Pope in which he brought up the pallium:

...What the Pallium indicates first and foremost is that we are all carried by Christ. But at the same time it invites us to carry one another. Hence the Pallium becomes a symbol of the shepherd’s mission, of which the Second Reading and the Gospel speak. The pastor must be inspired by Christ’s holy zeal: for him it is not a matter of indifference that so many people are living in the desert. And there are so many kinds of desert. There is the desert of poverty, the desert of hunger and thirst, the desert of abandonment, of loneliness, of destroyed love. There is the desert of God’s darkness, the emptiness of souls no longer aware of their dignity or the goal of human life. The external deserts in the world are growing, because the internal deserts have become so vast. Therefore the earth’s treasures no longer serve to build God’s garden for all to live in, but they have been made to serve the powers of exploitation and destruction. The Church as a whole and all her Pastors, like Christ, must set out to lead people out of the desert, towards the place of life, towards friendship with the Son of God, towards the One who gives us life, and life in abundance. ...

His Holiness Benedict XVI--Homily at the Mass of Inauguration of His Pontificate (April 24, 2005)

Do not let all of the smells and bells, clothing and mortar of the Catholic Church fool you. We do not place our trust in them. They are only tools at our disposal to remind us where we should place our trust. The Church does not primarily come from within the stones of a Cathedral, the finest liturgy, the most successful social ministry, or even the greatest homily. The Church comes from Jesus Christ and no other. As the Pope stated, "we are all carried by Christ."

I often wonder how often we as individuals in the Church forget that we, before being anything else, are carried in Christ's loving, gracious, and merciful arms. So often that which should unite us, become methods of tearing us apart. "I can't believe that the choir sang (insert any church song here) during mass. It's so terrible!" or "Why doesn't the Church spend more time with the poor? Why do they only care about fancy clothes and candlesticks?" or "The Church would be a lot better off if they actually taught 'real theology' in their schools." or "Father 'X' is such a hypocrite. He drives around in a brand new Passat while half his parish struggle to get their kids through college."

I am sure you have heard any or all of these types of complaints from fellow Christians and Catholics. Maybe you have said one of them. To be fair, they ring a certain amount of truth. I feel that we as a community of believers should hear and acknowledge the concerns, anger, and questions that our fellow brothers and sisters raise. They are not something to be either feared or mocked. More often than not they come from a deep rooted love for our Mother, the Church, and a desire for her to grow and prosper. The concerns of others should be taken to heart, even if we do not agree with them, otherwise our hearts will grow cold, judgemental, and bitter.

May I humbly suggest, before our concerns (both big and small) regarding the Church take over our lives, that we remember that the world, Church, and God are much bigger than ourselves. May we be men and women of faith rather than pride, because "at the same time it [the pallium] invites us to carry one another." I am my brother's keeper and he is mine. As a Church we can only walk together. Otherwise one by one we strand ourselves in the "desert of abandonment, loneliness, of destroyed love."

Ultimately God is at the wheel. He has command, and always has. And if God is the driver, we as the Church are His navigator. Are we going to bicker amongst ourselves as to which way Christ should turn the car, or are we going to enjoy the view which his Father created and trust Christ will get us where we need to go? Road trips spent bickering are like being locked in a prison cell for X number of hours with no escape. A trip spent in reconciliation, open minds and hearts, and consoling words turn that prison into a blessing. We not only find a friend in our fellow Christian, we find a friend in Christ. We come to trust Him more and desire to continue along with Him, for with him we find life, and we find it in abundance.

photo credit:

Jesus at the Wheel

Pallium